These past few weeks have been insane. I have struggled to find a place to live and move into, get the boys healthy (AMEN for finding the right antibiotic), take two classes online, all the while doing it completely on my own. We have officially been in the apartment for almost two weeks now, and I can honestly say that while I grew in respect for single mothers during this past year, it has exponentially gone up these past few weeks. Because before these past few weeks, I was never really alone. In Missouri, I had Liz.


She loves the boys dearly and loved spending time with them. While in Minnesota I had my mom and dad, and all of our other relatives.


Out here, it's just me and the boys. And everything hit us, hard. We have had sick babies, a LOT. But normally, they'd sleep through the night. I have had to move (HI to MO to MN), but never alone (well sorta alone...thanks to WGBC for helping me get stuff out of the storage!), and I have never taken two accelerated classes (not that hard compared to Rose, just time consuming) while dealing with the aforementioned stuff. But, I was (and am not) ever totally alone, I've always had the Lord here with me. Thankfully, knew all of these things were in the Lord's hands (and His will), and therefore I was able to do it all. He gave me strength, He sustained me on tough days, and He comforted me when I was brought to tears (yes I cried. Seeing your baby moan in pain because of his ears, knowing that you can't give him any more meds for a few hours will do that to you). So, what's my point in all of this? Well, God is good. I know some of you who read this don't believe that and may even want to argue with me. I mean, how could a good God let my husband go to war and leave me with two sick babies? Though I don't always know why God does stuff, I can tell you this. Through this past year He has shown me more and more of my sinfulness, which has lead me to know more and more of His grace and love towards me. So, why would He let this past year happen? To let me know more of Him and His love, which is the greatest gift of all. I'd been thinking about this a lot this morning, and this passage came to mind.

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love." - 1 Corinthians 13: 4-13

How amazing is this? His love for us! That even though we once hated Him, He endured all (and still is enduring) so that one day He could save every last one of His children. At any point, He could have just wiped out all of creation and started over with a completely blank slate, but that was never His plan, and now He patiently waits for His to love Him. Amazing.